Yesterday I was worrying about petty things and now, bigger issues have come my way. Mom called out of the blue and told me Dad said to apply for PhD programs for next year. I was thinking about it myself, and didn't take up on it earlier because I thought I was going home to work for a couple of years to get enough moolah to put myself through 5 years of PhD.
Honestly, I'm afraid.
I've made it this far, yes. And I know I'm good, but I'm afraid I won't be good enough for a school to take me in, and not only that - to fund me, at least partially. I don't know how or where the money for it is going to come from, and this is a good time to come from a rich family, which I obviously don't. I have to start studying for GRE's and that is already making me real anxious. I won't rest until the exam ends, and that's not until October.
I've been preparing to go home for awhile, and now this? I have to re-align my mind and get ready for what may come. Problem is, sometimes you just don't know what's next to mentally prepare for it. I guess I'm miffed, but how can I be with the little that my mind can understand?
GOD, this is your entrance cue.
And seriously, what are you up to?
Show me. Please.
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