I dislike Compressing events from the year into lessons or take-home-notes like many do. I prefer to take it in just as it is, because
1) It kinda doesn't work for me, I'll probably forget it anyway.
2) Sure I could write it down so I won't forget it but I'm hardly the diary-kind of person. I was when younger but got into a lot of trouble when nosy people read it. Don't worry it was nothing outrageous, just teen stuff. So now I write in riddles.
3) Summarizing mitigates a lot of things. It also makes me somewhat claustrophobic.
4) I prefer to view Time as a continuum as physicists do (aka there is no such thing is past, present and future). Just Time continuously with no beginning and end.
I could Reflect instead. Yes, that's what I'll do. If I remember to.
Relax, it's just a song. Here's some of the lyrics, though I changed one single word. Seemed more apt. I had a different idea of what Christmas was going to be like this year, but apparently that's not gonna happen. Instead, I'll be spending it on a plane, all day.
"Snow falls slow in the moonlight
Children merrily play
Off in the distance they're singing
Choirs of carolers sway
Every front yard is gleaming
Plastic santas and sleighs
Alas you didn't appear on my doorstep
The mistletoe's waited all day
All that I want for christmas
Is to give my love away."
This song by Foster the People describes almost everything I'm feeling right now. It's a jumble but ends on a hopeful note. Here are the stanzas I likeys.
"Got shackles on, my words are tied Fear can make you compromise Fast enough it's hard to hide Sometimes I want to disappear
When I feel kinda bad and I'm all distressed Pass it off on a better day Well you got whatcha want whatcha never knew Perfect gift from me to you
You take my friend and infect her with your filth.
Armed with only your broken English and pithless soul,
how dare you whisk her away, away from the truth of it all?
Stumbled upon this and thought it was cool (enough to blog about it).
The description that goes with it:
Everybody Was Kung Fu Lightning
Rain: Ninja. You are but a mere mortal and no match for my powerful torrent. Do you surrender? Ninja: Ah, Rain. You are a most worthy opponent and teacher. But I will never surrender. Rain: Ha! Ha! Ha! Your bravery humors me. Please continue. Ninja: Laugh now, Rain, for it will be the last time. (Unsheathes umbrella.) Rain: The ninja umbrella. But I thought it was a myth! Ninja: Used by the samurais before me. Passed down by my ancestors. Full of the wisdom of the ancients. With this umbrella, I will defeat you once and for all, and I will bring honor to my family and dry clothes to my home. HIIIIYAAAA! You too can bring honor to your family with the ninja umbrella featuring a samurai sword handle. Comes with carrying case for dramatic effect (and easy transport).
1) It's convenient to check my emails
2) I can jot down poetry ideas that come to me on a whim
3) There's a dictionary, bible, bank, eBay and weather app
4) My mother got it for me
5) I can take pictures with it
6) I can text faster on it
7) I can chat with my friends on MSN/Skype anywhere on it
8) It gives me something to do when I'm bored in class
9) I like it, dang it
that was not out of my own effort. Sure I had won trophies and medals but they were all from my own sweat and blood. Never been lucky at lucky draws. So this Christmas I hope the Winter Colorland Sweepstakes (stop laughing) competition, without lifting a finger (besides clicking to enter for it).
Thieves Homeless people on subways who really smell but you try to be nice and not make it obvious after all you pity them Pollution Human traffic Rudeness Smokers New York
Laura: "Greg, I am so sorry. I really meant to marry you. I did. And suddenly, I put on that wedding dress and I thought, 'Here I go, my last great adventure.' And then I realized, I was only 22 and I've hardly had any great adventures."
Greg: "You don't think starting a family is an adventure?"
Laura: "Why, sure it is. It's just not-"
Greg: "Paris."
Laura: "You still finish my sentences."
Greg: "And you are still the prettiest girl I have ever laid eyes on."
Laura: "You need to let me go."
Greg: "When I was 15, I read a story in Boy's Life about climbing Kilimanjaro. And it seemed about as far away as the moon. But I mowed lawns all summer so that I could make the trek. Saved almost three hundred dollars. It wasn't enough by a long shot but I put it in the bank and I swore that someday that money would go towards an adventure."
Laura: "And what did you spend it on?"
Greg: "A ring. But that's not the point.If what you are leaving me for is-"
Laura: "Kilimanjaro"
Greg: "Then Bon Voyage, Laura. Safe journey." (From Pan Am television series: Season 1: Episode 2 "We'll Always Have Paris")
Usually I would've chosen to ignore calls and go right back to sleep, but somehow I picked up the phone and was prepared to hang up if it were telemarketers.
It wasn't just any call, it was a one from the Dean's office inviting me to the annual gala dinner for students who made the list. I had a chance to invite two professors (as well as a plus one) to sit at my table. I was told to RSVP by October since the event is later that month.
I feel absolutely weird about inviting my professors, and frankly weird about going to the dinner too. I didn't know there were gala dinners for such events. In my previous universities, the Dean just sent you a congratulatory letter if you were on the list and that's that.
I asked B if my mother looked like me, and she said a firm "no".
I went through every feature - the eyes, nose, lips and smile. The only thing she said we have in common is the way we laugh. When I asked how she remembers what my mother looks like, she said “I just saw her”.
I cannot remember what my mother looks like, the same way I cannot remember what everyone else looks like.
There is a Malay idiom called puteri lilin, or candle princess. It really means someone who is unable to stand heat or is afraid of it. And I am one, I have always been.
So even when it's really not all that sunny, I will shield myself from the sun with either my hands or a parasol. When it is really sunny, there is no question that I would have sunglasses or a hat at hand (there are days when I am paranoid about dirty, germy sunglasses rims but that's a story for another day).
People who are with me when they see this phenomenon can't help but raise their eyebrows. Many friends openly remark that they do not care about going under the sun and why should I. The fact is, I truly dislike the feeling of going under the sun. It makes me lethargic, hot and bothered, sometimes sweaty and sleepy. I do of course appreciate it some days but most of the time it is unwelcomed.
Since a little girl, my favorite days had been those moody, melancholic days where the sun is nowhere to be seen. On these kind of days I remember feeling happier and more energetic. I'm faring better these days with the sun and heat, learning to let go a little now and then. To enjoy any God-given day.
And if do you catch me trying to shield myself on a not-so-sunny day, you'll know why - I'm what they call a candle princess. As cheesy as that sounds.
For the past year, I had been whining that I will never be a bridesmaid before being a bride. My closest friends were not thinking about marriage at that stage yet, and I had a wedding sometime in the near future. But things took a turn recently and my best friend got engaged. She had asked me to be her MOH, and I couldn't be more honored. You don't hear me whining now.
My reasons for wanting to be a bridesmaid before a bride are probably trivial and nonsensical. Here are some:
1) It's nice to actually know what you're supposed to be doing in a wedding before planning your own. It'll give you a headstart in getting familiar with wedding-related-things. I know some brides who take tremendous pleasure in the planning part but the more I delve into it the more I would rather leave it to the groom, or at least split it up 50/50. Perhaps because I find planning to be too... planned. For the lack of a better word. I just don't see why we need to put a whole year's work into a one-day event.
That said, what would a wedding be without all that work. Chaotic at best? I'm sure there are ones that are just as beautiful with no big, crazy planning involved and I guess that's how I'd like mine to be. Without all that fuss. Definitely no ice sculptures.
2) It's a lot funner (is this a word?) to plan someone else's wedding than your own. Not that my own wedding planning is going to be funless, but things gone wrong can be a real party pooper. It pays to be an experienced MOH/bridesmaid, so you'd know what to pack in the bridal-emergency-kit.
3) I've always thought I would get married after my friends since they're all a few years older, and this sort of stuck with me up until today. I'd rather "marry them off" first. As mentioned, my reasons are highly likely to be nonsensical. But I wouldn't have a problem if it works out the other way around either.
4) I want to experience a wedding up close and personal first before my own. I've played in many weddings before, but providing music isn't the same as carrying a train.
So here's a toast to my best friend's wedding.
And to their lives after.
And to no more whining.
When I told some of my friends that I had chosen my wedding colors to be mint and baby pink, some of them retorted that it doesn’t seem very… Us.
Apparently we’re serious people who’d pick something more conventional and sophisticated like blue hues for example. The question is, Are We?
I think we’ve managed to fool people into thinking we are. Quite a quirky pair we are really.
The Fiancé gave me full privilege to pick the wedding colors, style and theme; he only wanted to be in charge of the food. I didn’t want severe colors since I wanted the guests to have fun, and not take the wedding too seriously (not that they should take it too lightly either). I also didn’t want anything too vivid – that leaves out turquoise and fuchsia. Neither did I want solemn colors like gray or deep blue. I don’t really like purple, so I ventured into the green tones. For the flowers, red gerberas are calling out to me.
I wanted a retro wedding, but The Fiancé doesn’t fancy it too much. He would go as far as wearing a pair of Converse instead of dress shoes but nothing too kooky. So I tweaked one of the theme colors a little, and we’ve settled with…
Mint and Dark Brown (with a touch of Red for gerbera daisies.) Yep, like mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Some days I just don't feel like blogging deep/profound stuff. On these kind of days I ditch my other blog and traverse here.
So let’s talk about HAIR today. Yes, that mane of glory on and around your pretty head.
I had been growing my hair out since January this year for no particular reason. In the winter months it seems like there’s less reason to go for a haircut. I use them as a scarf sometimes.
But lately, the temperature has been steadily soaring and I have been feeling the consequences. SUMMER is definitely here. I suddenly want the mop of hair gone; chopped. Due to the sheer mass and length of hair, it has been droopy and sad-looking. Not to mention the amount of shampoo it requires.
Unable to take it anymore I marched into one of the cheaper salons in NYC and told them I wanted a trim. The cut itself only cost $12, plus an extra $3 for wash. I love a good wash before my cut, and don’t mind shelling out a few bucks for that. I could do with some head massage too especially since I have been interning 5 days a week, waking up at 6:30 every morning to get there by 9-ish.
After the hairstylist finished his magic, I was shocked to see a good 4 inches had been hacked off. I hadn’t been paying attention to how much he cut off because I kinda didn’t care how my hair would turn out. I just wanted the weight off and did not give him much direction as to how I wanted it. I got up from the seat and glanced down to see how much hair he cut off.
It was A LOT of hair. Enough to make a wig with.
I had to keep looking at my reflection for proof I still had hair on my head because I felt bald, botak, in a good way. He did exactly what I wanted, albeit a little too short.
What else can I say - I'm ready to brave the 100F temperature now.
I was never good at track (long jump, high jump, 100-meter races). But what I was good at were cross country races. When I was 11 my mother had bought me a pair blue Nikes, with spikes for soles. I loved them, and I wear them so much they’d molded to the shape of my feet. That morning of a 13-kilometer race, I donned them on for the umpteenth time and made sure I tied the laces tightly enough.
I waited for the sound of the starter’s pistol, my knees feeling like they were about to buckle from the tension. I was surrounded by a hundred other runners flocked like sardines to my left and right. To my front was the starting line; uneager to be trampled over. When the gun goes off, my heart stopped for a full second before I regained control of the muscles in my legs. While everyone else ran as fast as they can, I held back at merely a jogger’s pace on a lazy Sunday. Nothing in motion lets you know I am in a competition.
It is at this point where I felt anxious, my eyes telling me I should probably run faster because everyone else is ahead of me. Nervous, I closed my eyes and my mind, retaining the same speed. Slowly I became undaunted, shut off from reality, fantasizing my own finale.5 kilometers into the competition, I saw those who were way ahead of me at the beginning of the competition starting to tire, their faces fraught with salty sweat. This encouraged me; every step I pounce started to feel lighter.
Around the 7-kilometer mark I started to feel slightly drained, and the only thing that kept me going was being closer to the finish line. Having lost a large amount of water, my body was thirsty. I felt blood pumping to every vein, my heart muscles worked doubly hard. During the last kilometer it started to pour. I had noticed the clouds darkening but did not anticipate heavy rain. I could not see what was in front of me; everything seemed like looking through a prism. I started to develop a blister at the back of my ankle, and I knew I had to take off my shoes and run if I wanted to win.
And so I took off my beloved blue Nike, carried it my hands and ran barefoot across the tartar road not caring the pain searing through my ankles. Only a few runners were ahead of me by now. I started to sprint at the smell of victory.
11 years later, whenever I feel drained and exhausted with nothing left to give, I think of that little girl who so nimbly paced herself for that cross country run. I then strap on my blue Nike and just get my grit going. With God's help of course.
You know how the saying goes – As obstinate as a mule?
Well, I happen to be one. I have a sneaking suspicion that we all are.
Anyhow, I first discovered my mulish tendencies at the tender age of 5 or 6. Being so young you needn’t care about anything in the world, let alone know your character and what you stand for.
I grew up in an orphanage, as some of you may know. My dad was and still is the priest who runs the home. One fine Saturday morning, he had wanted all of us at home to learn a new worship song called “Abba Father”. He scribbled the words of the song onto the blackboard we had hanging in the living room. Everyone had to copy down the words and later we would learn to sing it.
While everyone else whipped up their thick, big exercise books to copy the song, I took out my cute little blue memopad. I clicked my ‘mechanic’ pencil, and laid on my tummy to begin the task.
At that time, my vision wasn’t all 20/20 and it would later be discovered at age 7 that I need corrective lenses. The song “Abba Father” had the word ‘kingdom’ in its lyrics and as I was copying I couldn’t make out the word properly because of my deteriorating vision.
Susan, an older girl, wanted to help me out with spelling ‘kingdom’ but I clearly remember not wanting any help. I tried spelling it as ‘kindom’. She told me it wasn’t the correct spelling. Then I tried ‘kengdom’. Still not correct. Up till the last minute I refused any offer of help.
It was at this moment the 5-year-old me realized she had a stubborn streak in her.
Was all dressed and ready to go out of the house this morning at 8am when I was told that no buses are gonna be running today, at least not for awhile. What else can I do but go back home.
Reason why I was heading out so early was because I had an appointment to go check out my new potential room in Brooklyn. Right now I'm living in Bayside, which is next to Long Island but essentially within Queens. In the end, The Fiance made the trip to Brooklyn in my place.
Being stuck at home, with only a couple hours of sleep, feeling woozy but not wanting to go back to bed, here are some pictures. A shot of the city at night.
This is a shot of cold-looking botak trees near my soon-to-be-ex-Bayside-home.
Update:
I am told that the Brooklyn house is brand new with gleaming floors. A clean, brand new house in New York with a monthly room rent of only around $400? I'll take it, thank you very much. It's really a steal, considering most houses and apartments here are old yet pricey, dirty and cramped (think $700 and up, over $1000 in the city area).
I guess I'll be moving out really, really soon then. Like tomorrow. A couple of blocks down my new home is the shore of the Atlantic Ocean, and I will have to cross the Manhattan Bridge everyday, so I get a view of the Brooklyn Bridge.
Is it living away from the city working in some farm ala Paris Hilton in her reality show with the same name as my blog? Or is it not wanting luxurious things, being low maintenance?
Myself, I seem to have different standards of what 'simple' is with different facets. Some things can be simple yet complex at the same time – a sensible paradox. As I grow older each year, I have come to aspire for precisely this class of simplicity. (Hopefully I do not sound like a prude here.) Of course now and then I like a little frou frou.
Then again, what does it matter of our earthly definition of what simple means? Jesus is the perfect example of the simple life.
Anyway, The Fiancé fell ill two days ago. And he still managed to surprise me with a box of donuts. Dunkin Donuts to be exact.
So to return the favor I made some chicken… tomato… soup? Honestly I have no idea what I cooked up. I didn’t start of wanting to make this dish the way it turned out to be, rather, I wanted to make chicken soup. This turned out to be better. There wasn’t any stock or water involved, I let the chicken simmer in the tomato (since its contents are mostly water) for about 1.5 hours. So now it’s all moist and tender.
And I smell like tomato chicken.
Also, here’s a picture of the pecan tart I was talking about in the last post. Deliciousness, innit?
...Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes Silver white winters that melt into springs These are a few of my favorite things"
Ahh, the lines from Sound of Music's "My Favorite Things". Somehow they're stuck in my head today and I thought, why not put up a post on my winter favorite things!
1) Swiss Miss French Vanilla Hot Cocoa Mix
I reach for this like nobody's business, gulping two or three packets a day. Probably have enough calcium to last me a year. Costs about a dollar for each box.
2) Scarves that keep me warm and snuggly.
3) My room!
This is only a portion of it. What I like about it is the supergirly lilac walls, the size of it and the wooden floors. I will definitely miss it when I move in 2 months.
4) Pretzels!
I eat a lot. So when there isn't an option of just going across the street for a mamak session with friends, I am always on the hunt for snacks to keep my tummy happy especially during the winter months. I think my search for the perfect snack might finally be over. Costs only 99 cents for a small packet.
5) These insanely good pecan tarts. I don't have a picture though! Costs $1.50 each.
I wanted to blog on new year's eve but was bummed that my pictures weren't loading that day, so I had to wait til they got their acts together. In this blog I try to load my own pics, and frankly I haven't had the time to take shots nor the proper tools.
But anyway, what a year 2010 has been! (I'm just gonna randomly insert pictures and events in no particular order or importance).
I moved halfway across the country. This shot was taken in Midtown Manhattan.
And then I got engaged to the most wonderfullest, perfectest, yummiest *ahem*
man. Technically I got engaged before I moved, but you don't really care - you just want more pictures I know. Moving along...
Fall came and went.
There was a mini-fire at John Jay during one of my classes.
And somehow I got hold of a firetruck during the 2010 NYC blizzard.
Note the dirty pile of snow.
Here's a shot of the largest Macy's in the world (allegedly).
To my absolute delight, Per Se is located near John Jay.
Oh, and a Christmas tree at 34th St.
Another dress. Yikes, I know.
I've purchased one too many dresses it's almost criminal.
In my defense it was marked down so low (only $10, originally $50 from H&M).
And it was just so flowy, so pretty, so 'I have to get it'.
I got to try square fly-trap sunnies. Yay.
And I definitely cooked a lot.
Here's some stuffed asparagus.
I don't know how much I'll be blogging from here onwards. The Fiance is arriving at LGA tomorrow afternoon. It's nearly 2am, I should really get going. That's all folks! For now at least.
